Little Girls, Little Girls....

(the title should be song as in the Musical Annie )

As someone who loves language I spend a lot of time thinking about words. What they really mean. How we use them incorrectly to the point that they take on new meaning. The word decimate for example is used today to describe when one side destroys another in sports or war. When in fact to decimate means to take out 10% of an opponents troops/players/members. Which for the most part would not be that big of a deal. But I digress...

Having children has made think even more about words. Should I swear in front of my children? (Probably not but I do, frequently). Should I parrot the words they mispronounce back to them? (I am not sure what the party line is on this but I don't). Should I use cute shortened words for things - baba for bottle for example? (Again not sure the right answer, but I hate myself every time I do.) Words are important and I want my kids to hear real ones. And I want them to hear the right ones.

At a recent gathering of friends everyone kept commenting on how smart my son was and how beautiful my daughter was. How strong my son was, and how pretty my little girl looked in her dress. She did look pretty and my son is strong (and smart) but why are those descriptors chosen for the genders? Not long after I came across this article: How to talk to little girls and it has changed how I talk to my daughter.

I want her to hear that she is beautiful, but also that she is smart, strong, patient, caring. That she is clever, funny and talented. As she grows up there are plenty of people who will judge her first on her looks, on her weight, on her clothes and who will tear her down if she is not conventionally pretty, thin and stylish. So I ask people when they spend time with her to compliment her on other things...usually the same things they compliment her brother on...

When we think about the words we use with our children, let's remember that just like they will pick up the swear words mommy uses when she drives they will pick up on the other words we use. They will internalize them. And we have a chance now, when they are young, to build them up so as they grow they will know they are more then a pretty smile.

Ellipses

The word is from Ancient Greek and means "falling short". I think of it as those three periods that I can use to create run-on sentences at will. But I like its original meaning...that by using them, I am letting you the reader know that this sentence is going to fall short. That something is going to be omitted, or left out or left up to you.

I feel my life as a parent is an ellipses. Like I am constantly trying to play catch-up over falling short in some way. That while I am at work I am slowly being omitted from my children's lives...replaced by the real life version of three periods in a row.

I didn't see my son all day yesterday, left the house in the morning before he was awake and when I checked on him when I got home he had long been asleep. This morning he woke up early and his dad went to get him while I made myself a piece of toast and nursed the baby. When he came toddling out I gave him a big smile and said "good morning". His eyes got big and he revealed a toothy grin and came running over to me...took my toast...and headed back to his father.

Just another ... moment.